Keeping My Sanity

It’s like I woke up from a long fairytale nap.

I used to be super invested in the environment but placed that on the side when I got married and had kids.

Then, without plans, Greta Thunberg woke me up from the long, blissful life. I was just routinely checking my Flipboard page and saw her US visit. From there, I saw the efforts and the voices rallying behind her.

Now I am afraid. No,no. I am terrified! The science has finally triggered panic in me. We got 10 years to try and save Earth. 10 years! My kids are barely teens by then. I am not ready to witness the end of civilization, not now that I have kids.

And so I am in panic mode. I can’t work. I can’t seem to see sense to what I do. Nothing seems more important than dealing with climate change. Nothing.

10 years. How do we even start?

It’s not the lack of ideas or words.

It’s not the lack of thoughts as it always flows.

It’s the lack of action and desire.

It’s the lack of discipline to write what is in the mind.

It’s the indifference to the commitment.

It’s all these that separates the talented from the skilled.

It’s rare that my kids sleep early enough for me to have some energy to still be awake. I got that rare opportunity now. Kids were dead tired so I only had to give a few pats and the milk did the rest. And as excitement got into me for the 2 more hours that I could do whatever I want, I realised my body is too tired to attempt to do any of those. Only my brain has the energy to move, all my other systems are craving for bed. But I can’t sleep as my brain resist to lose the opportunity to be productive – the photos that need to be sent, the project that needs to be planned, the clothes that need to be sorted, the finances to be balanced, the numerous house chores to be listed, etc, etc.

(Pause, Zoe just woke up!)

This night is about to be a lost opportunity. I could have done wonders with it but my body is a mess. And though my brain’s a fighter, I have yielded to my body many times in the past.

I could have been so much more…but for now, I’m just a tired mom, craving for sleep,hoping it doesn’t get interrupted too quickly.

Our body is amazing. It’s systems are so intricate and smart. It strictly follows a process but has a way of troubleshooting if things go different.

That’s why our body is predictable. Issues can be traced, effect measured. One knows he can’t get away from abusing his body. There will be effects and it’s always bad.

Though the body is predictable, our technology are not sophisticated enough to do such diagnosis. We are not smarter than our body. We can’t comprehend fully yet the complexities of our being.

10 years more. Maybe less, depending on how intrusive humans can be.

Not very excited though. There’s a reason why divinity is for the few. Knowledge is a joy killer.

Companies should be more open to working from home or from a satellite area. Such a waste of time travelling. On average, I spend 3 hours daily on travel. And though I make do with the time, it would still be more fulfilling using it for tasks I choose to do.

I’m sure that for many others, it’s way more than 3 hours. People who can’t afford a shuttle or a cab gets stuck in lines and traffic for hours and hours. It’s a choice of two – money or time. Do you spend money or say no to money to get more time? Or do you spend time to get more money?

I value time more.

It’s a resource that can’t be earned.

It’s limited. It’s scarce.

But we all have it, equally. The rich doesn’t have more of it. The poor doesn’t have less.

The great equaliser.

Here’s an attempt to analyze influx of condominiums in Metro Manila. There’s 12M people in this area. Say 30 percent actually have homes, that leaves us with some 8M. Of these, I think only 10 percent will be able to afford and only have of those numbers will potentially buy one. Divide it to two in consideration of possible couplesand you get around 20k people. One condo building has 20 floors for a mid rise with 15 doors. In MOA area alone, it’s a conservative 3000 units. If I multiply this to 16 cities, then that’s 48,000 units conservatively.

The numbers don’t match. Why build all these units without potential buyers? And then it hit me that, they don’t actually mean to sell all units. Each unit is overpriced enough to give them the ROI they need for the entire structure.

Huh! Now that explains things. Sharks.

Lawmakers should prime discussions that normal citizens can’t initiate. Sustainability issues, national security, international relations, environmental concerns, and the like. These are matters of national interest that needs their thorough thinking.

Government departments or institutions should be empowered to resolve local issues. Let them deal with niche requirements and trivial matters. Their mandate involves this. Let them do it.

All these noise about homework policy and condom use are ways to deviate the mass from relevant issues we are starting to notice – online gambling hubs, disputed territories, economic progress and tax laws.

Well, well, well. Looks like it’s working.

Try the alternative. Look beneath. Look deep.

The top predator shapes the Earth. I watched yesterday how the reintroduction of wolves in Yellowstone Park has changed and improved the biological community, even the behaviour of the river.

I then realised that the top predator runs the show. Lucky for Yellowstone, their predator does not have other appetite except for food. No hunger for power, or clothes or money. No greed. Just plain, old need.

And that’s why we have the world we are in now. Because of us. We are the top predator of this world that is at the brink of biological collapse. We drive the changes and “development”. I believe in the hearts of people and that there are those who truly care and are truly simple in their ways. Buy we are by nature complicated beings. We have needs but we have more wants. And we are never satisfied. We always want more. And this MORE will be the death of the environment.

It is hard to imagine a world where the top predator isn’t us. That means we are hunted and at the mercy of the top predator. On the other hand, that may actually be what the world needs. A better species to rule over Earth, one who has no greed or self dreams.

If we don’t get the change in the food chain, we still have Mother Nature as last resort. Yup, that’s probably the more realistic course of things. Let’s wait for Mother’s whip. It’ll come hard.

I asked my brother to buy me Crocs for my birthday. I had Crocs before and I used it for around 4 years. I loved its style and quality.

And so I’m super frustrated when my new Crocs – barely a week old – almost snapped on one of its straps. Why????

And you would think at such price point you can get quality service. Nope! “Product warranty does not apply to any defects arising from normal usage” as per website. Customers are in the losing end. We invest on expensive products because of quality and if it fails, we just need to suck up the wrong decision. No after sales. No chance of being heard. No “We are sorry to hear that.” Where is justice???

In the future, I will work on a project called “Quest for Good Customer Service”. It is very rare specially in a third world country (where company’s effort to put costs low sacrifice quality and service) so knowing companies that remain faithful to their customers is worth noting. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll help put the conversation about satisfying customers and treating them well rather than maximizing profit.

My kid was crying a lot yesterday. It was hard for her to transition from me being at home, over the weekends, to going to work. My heart breaks hearing her beg for me to take a bus and go home.

Today she’ll wake up and won’t see me in the house. And it’s likely she’ll cry again. And though I don’t want her to feel these emotions, I can’t do anything about it. I need to work. And so I just look at them as a necessary pain, for her to learn how to set her emotions when people are not there or when people leave her. I hope it builds her character.

Truly life, and the lack of capacity to control every facet of it, is our teacher. The situations we face hone us to the person we are. We can simulate, but our human bias will affect the situations we craft – leaning more on positive ones rather than those that are necessary.

Pain builds resilience.